FEAR and JOY
The goal is simple.
To Teach You How To
Reduce Fear Using Joy.
It works, and it’s FREE.
Address your Fears
This site takes you through the process of identifying, understanding, and then reducing your Fears. They include social fears, such as intimacy, rejection, failures, etc. All can be helped using this method. Here’s a sample. Did you know that the fear of public speaking may be helped by taking multiple amusement park rides? What!! Here’s a hint. The adrenaline rush you get before stepping behind the microphone is usually associated with embarrassment and failure. The roller coaster rides re-associate that adrenaline rush with fun and safety. How cool is that!
Did you know that your personality type plays a role? Or that your distress is because you’re being manipulated.
An A-type person’s fear may be associated with looking weak, or the thought of losing a friend may crush a B-type person. Diving into the twists and turns of the personality traits is productive, fun, and intriguing.
Hiding behind emotions is a more elusive factor. It’s manipulation. Like the magician’s sleight of hand, it makes the manipulator’s actions vanish in plain sight.
This site teaches you how to spot manipulation using backdoor techniques and provides fun quizzes with real-life situations.
There are tricks to understanding specific fears. For example, when you hear doom and gloom on television, do the following: First, ignore the content and look for keywords, such as:
- everyone agrees,
- science, or
- it’s undisputed.
These words are classic fallacies. Now, go back and consider the content. This time look for evidence. Usually, there won’t be any. That’s because those keywords are used to avoid showing proof. This is when you’ll know that the “doom and gloom” story is nothing more than the smoke and mirrors used at a carnival.
The last factor relates to treatment. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, i.e., repeated exposure to the fear triggers, is the go-to treatment. But this site shows some hidden techniques.
The cartoon is a link that will take you to a table of contents. From there you can jump to any topic. But, be careful. By skipping around, you may miss a few key elements.
It’s like the young high school boy who skipped his history class to play with his friends. In class, the teacher announced, “and here’s a few questions that’ll be on the test tomorrow” OR WORSE YET, there was an empty seat next to an attractive girl.
Incorporate Joy into Your Life
Joy surrounds us. Sometimes obvious and sometimes hidden. Top of the list is family. That’s probably why married people live 17 years longer than their unmarried counterparts.
- should I marry,
- do I marry someone like me or opposite me?
- will I be a good parent?
- how many children should I have?
Are all addressed.
The marriage and children issues are the big joys and are discussed in detail in the links. However, there are many joys that are hidden. Take for example work ethic. Yes, work ethic. Study after study has shown that people who have developed a good work ethic are far happier.
Here’s the hidden gem. There is observational evidence that work ethic may be inherited. People have assumed that things like musical ability are inherited traits. But it may not be the musical abilities that are passed on. Rather, it may be the work-ethic associated with the long hours of practice that musicians do that is inherited.
Other things that bring Joy include activities such as music, reading, hobbies, humor, appreciating nature’s beauty, meditation, and the list is long.
Did you know that dancing is the healthiest physical activity? And there are scientific studies to back it up.
There is a process for picking the best hobby, activity, or vacation for you.
If you ever placed toothpicks in an avocado pit and stuck it in plastic cup with water, you may want to try your hand at gardening.
Did you know that gardening helps reduce the fear of insects or catching diseases. Perhaps, that’s why farmers rarely have these fears.
The Fear & Joy Connection
What does Joy have to do with Fear? If you have this question, a wonderful surprise awaits you. Studies have shown that the positive effect of Joy reduces the adverse effects of Fear. And it takes place automatically inside your brain.
Here’s an illustration. If you see a scary spider, then do this. First, make sure you are safe. Then, bite into a chocolate bar, sip your favorite soda, or do a little dance. It’s hard to concern yourself with the spider when you’re trying to remember the steps to the Chicken Dance. The purpose of the candy bar, the soda, or the dance is to re-associate the Fear with a Joy.
This is not new stuff. Remember what your mother did after you were kicking and screaming from a vaccine shot. Did it involve Skiddles™, ice cream, hugs, kisses, or some other reward?
This re-association might sound trite. But it has a serious side, and it works. In most brain injury rehabilitation cases, music is used. Why? Because of joy. People with Alzheimer’s have been observed tapping their feet or fingers when their favorite song is played. Why? Because of Joy.
Discover why a compliment is so powerful. Then casually observe the effects of your praise. You’ll experience a delightful gift. But the internal reward is hidden and far more valuable.
Studies have shown that the Joy to Fear ratio should be three or above. That is three or more Joys for each Fear. Balances below 2 mean that some remedial action is needed. The website has forms and examples for calculating your specific ratio.
This is an effective way to reduce stress in the middle of chaos.
Joy contains the invisible keys to the Neuro-pathways in the brain where the fears hide.
Clicking on The Fear and Joy Connection Cartoon takes you to a table of contents on the topics covering this connection.
Notice the facial expressions on the two boys. The boy at the rear is hanging on for dear life, while the boy in front has his hands in the air ready to go again.
The only difference between them is the perceived fear in one and the joy in the other.
Fear and Joy Blogging
The Blogging portion of the website offers a way for people to provide personal stories and to share ideas for the purpose of helping others. Currently this section is under construction.