FEAR AND JOY PAIRING

2. Afraid of Being Bitten. There are many fears that this may apply, for example, being bitten by a spider, snake, dog, or other larger animals.

Re-associate your negative perception of being bitten with something non-dangerous or familiar place, such as:

• Puppy. Anyone who has ever owned a puppy has been softly bitten many times. To the puppy, it is a sign of affection and playfulness.  Adopting a puppy will provide many other benefits as well.
• Love. Softly biting a lover’s ear signifies strong affection between couples. If you have never done it, you may want to try it.
• Fish Pedicures. This involves certain small fish that nibble on your feet to remove the dead skin. It tickles.  (This pedicure has been banned in many States based on health reasons.)
• Acupuncture. This involves many needles and is a popular technique to reduce pain and other ailments. Your fear of spider bites may be related to puncturing of the skin, which occurs with needles.
• Get back to Nature. Go camping, fishing, hunting, or hiking at a National Park and experience the beauty of Mother Nature. It is common to interact with insects and animals during these activities. 
• Farm Worker. People who have worked on a farm or have been active in gardening have intersected with animals and insects on a routine basis. This could be why very few farmers and ranchers have this fear.  You may try working for a farmer or rancher for a summer if you are young. 

3. Hiding. (To avoid danger by active concealment.) This can apply to a wide variety of fears, particularly many social anxieties.  

Re-associate hiding and being found with something fun, non-dangerous, or familiar place, such as:

• Hide and Seek. Children play this game in almost every family. It is one of the most influential games to promote social learning and observation.  It is possible your parents did not use this fun game.  Teenagers play a form of this game with squirt guns.  Adults often play a version using camouflage. 
• Scavenger Hunt. The first person who can follow the clues in the shortest time finds a treasure. Adults often play a form of the scavenger hunt with automobile search trips.
• Magicians. Watching magicians is an excellent form of entertainment associated with hidden steps and objects.
• Chess. This game is a fantastic way of setting up hidden traps involving strategy.
• Bird & Animal Watching. To watch birds and animals close up, you must conceal yourself. If you do this often enough, you will begin to associate hiding with being safe and receiving an award for your patience. 
• Duck Hunting. Duck hunters often use camouflaged tents or blinds to prevent the birds from seeing them. This is not recommended because it might do the opposite, i.e., reinforcing the negative dangers to the ducks associated with a hiding predator. 

4. Freezing. (This relates to being unable to move and not to the weather.) Most predators spot their prey by movement.  A person stands out in a crowd when they move.  Social Anxieties are particularly prone to the freezing reaction. 

Re-associate freezing with something fun, non-dangerous, or familiar place, such as:

• Marco Polo Game. This is a game where one player is blindfolded, and all others are trying to avoid being tagged by the blindfolded player. Therefore, freezing in one place without making any sounds is essential.  But when the blindfolded person yells “Marco,” all others must immediately respond with Polo.   
• Simon Says is a game where a caller gives directions each of the other players is to comply with the rules but only when the caller says, “Simon says touch your nose.” The Caller follows along with the commands. If the caller does not say Simon’s words before the command, then the players are not to move even if Simon moves.  This subconsciously associates “freezing” with winning. 
• Wildlife Photography. Taking close-up pictures of wildlife requires very little, if any, the movement for long periods. The more patience, the greater the photographic reward. 
• Bird and Animal watching. Like wildlife photography, this activity requires being hidden for long periods without fast movements.

5. Can’t Breathe. Perceived suffocation is associated with numerous fears, i.e., drowning, being trapped, tight spaces, etc.  It is one of the most challenging perceptions to manage.   This one will likely need some professional help.  Remember, it might be covered by insurance.

Re-associate breathing issues with something enjoyable, non-dangerous, soothing, or commonplace.

• Scuba Diving. This is the most effective Joy to help with suffocation fears. It requires the person to know how to swim, be submerged deep underwater, and actively suck on the ventilator for it to work.  But, the view of the fish and coral life is spectacular and rewarding.  There is also the added benefit of being weightless. 
• Snorkeling. This is breathing from a tube while watching the fish below.  People can spend hours quietly floating around while enjoying the underwater views.   
• Swimming. This activity does not require any equipment. The timing associated with breathing is critical.  Holding one’s breath while underwater improves lung capacity and efficiency.  The enjoyment associated with swimming includes: being in control, having mobility in water, being able to relax on boats and ships, and observing underwater beauty.
• Meditation.  Many different techniques are used. Proper breathing is a core exercise. The soothing benefits of meditation are well documented.
• Singing. A significant element of Singing is breath control. It improves lung capacity and learning when to breathe through the mouth or nose.  Joining a choir group is less stressful, particularly in a church setting.  It also provides the benefits of social interactions. 
• f. Playing a Wind Instrument. Playing any of the wind instruments requires lung and breath control. These are instruments like the trombone, saxophone, clarinet, oboe, flute, and the like.  Playing musical instruments provides great enjoyment at any age.  It also benefits working together to accomplish common goals and improve social skills.
• Flower Gardening. Growing and smelling flowers associate pleasant fragrances with breathing. It teaches the benefits of breathing pauses to detect and analyze odors.  It also improves one’s ability to distinguish and see individual components making up a bouquet. 

6. Falling/Heights. Falling and fear of heights are different but are grouped in this pairing analysis. Falling is a movement issue, while height is a depth perception issue. Many effective techniques reduce this fear, and there are treatment drugs for inner ear infections.  These are treatment options and not pairing issues.   

Re-associate falling/height with something fun, non-dangerous, or commonplace.

• Amusement Park Rides. Many of these rides provide both falling and heights. They offer a delightful thrill while being safe.  
• Trampoline. This device is where a strong fabric is stretched between springs that accelerate bouncing. Bounce heights of 10 to 15 feet are standard.  They provide a thrill associated with being weightless. 
• In-Door Skydiving. This can involve both treatment and pairing issues. Indoor skydiving is a safe and popular recreation for all ages.  iFlyworld.com has facilities throughout the world.
• Zip Line. A zip line is an aerial suspended cable system allowing people to be propelled by gravity at treetop levels. They provide a thrilling speed along with fantastic views. 
• Hot Air Balloons. This is a definitive treatment and Joy pairing collaboration. For one afraid of heights, this would be difficult at first but effective in reducing this fear.  Those with a phobia (excessive fear of heights) must contact a professional before trying this. 
• Indoor Rock Climbing. This would be a safe option to start. Once accomplished, the hot air balloons may be a second option. 

7. Infection. The core of this fear is the fear of death. This includes most of the classic physical worries. Social Fears are less important but sometimes play a role, such as being sick to generate sympathy, etc.    The treatment options often include simply turning off or limiting your exposure to the news and social media. 

Re-associate infection/illness/dying with something that is healthy and makes you happy.  Studies have shown that a happy person is less prone to this fear.

• Family. Family is the top Joy to pair with this fear. It is the most effective in providing happiness.  There is a separate section dealing with Family Basics and Family Relationships.   In addition, the Family offers a source of protection for medical support and reduces fears associated with mobility, sustenance, and decision-making. 
• Pets. Having a pet, particularly a dog, for constant companionship is important. They will listen as long as you talk, will not question your wisdom, will love you no matter what, and will take your mind off your problems.  Studies have shown that people have a stronger desire to survive if they are responsible for someone else and a companion pet fits that criteria.
• Religion. A strong spiritual belief provides strength. People with serious illnesses have been shown to have quicker recoveries using prayer and spiritual support. 
• Meditation. The health benefits of meditation are documented in several scientific studies.  This would include Yoga.
• Reading. Reading for enjoyment provides an escape from one’s problems.
• Jogging and other cardiovascular activities.  A healthy body suppresses negative health thoughts.
• Dancing.  This is the top activity for both mental and physical health.  It also has a vital social component.

8. Running Away.  This symptom is the automatic urge to protect oneself.  Much comes from the primitive brain, although it can also originate from learned encounters. The vast majority deal with perceived danger. This would include spiders, snakes, animals, fire, freezing, weapons, hospitals, supernatural views, etc.  Taking flight in the face of danger has protected us for millions of years and is not something that should be ignored.  However, analytical actions can be taken once the danger has been identified and the emergency has been resolved.   

In performing these analytical actions, re-associate the running-away feeling with something that is healthy and makes you happy.

• Athletic Competition. Racing with your children, spouse, or friends.  Stealing bases during a baseball game.  The game of tag.  Flag football. 
• Racing Events. Drag and automobile racing.  Horse racing.
• Freezing Games. Dance games where the players freeze when the music stops.  Hide and seek games.  Musical chairs.