FEAR and JOY

The goal is simple.

To Teach You How To Reduce Fear Using Joy.

It works, and it’s FREE.

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Address your Fears

This site takes you through the process of identifying, understanding, and then reducing your Fears.  They include the social fears, such as intimacy, rejection, failures, etc.  All can be helped using this method. 

Here’s a sample.  Did you know that the fear of public speaking may be helped by taking multiple amusement park rides.   What!!   Here’s a hint. The adrenaline rush you get before stepping behind the microphone is normally associated with embarrassment and failure. The roller coaster rides re-associate that adrenaline rush with fun and safety.  How cool is that!

Did you know that your personality type plays a role?  Or that your distress is because you’re being manipulated.  

An A-type person’s fear may be associated with looking weak, or a B-type person may be crushed by the thought of losing a friend.  Diving into the twists and turns of the personality traits is productive, fun, and intriguing.

Hiding behind emotions is a more elusive factor. It’s manipulation.  Like the magician’s sleight of hand, it makes the manipulator’s actions vanish in plain sight.  

This site teaches you how to spot manipulation using backdoor techniques and provides some fun quizzes with real life situations.

There are tricks to understanding certain fears.  For example, when you hear doom and gloom on television, do the following: First, ignore the content and look for key words, such as:

  • everyone agrees,
  • science, or
  • it’s undisputed.

These words are classic fallacies.  Now, go back and consider the content. This time look for evidence. Usually, there won’t be any. That’s because those key words are used to avoid showing proof. This is when you’ll know that the “doom and gloom” story is nothing more than the smoke and mirrors used at a carnival.

The last factor relates to treatment. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, i.e., repeated exposures to the fear triggers, is the go-to treatment. But this site shows some hidden techniques.

These hidden features are revealed along with real life illustrations. Click on the Fear Photo to start your journey.  

Fear

The cartoon is a link that will take you to a table of contents.  From there you can jump to any topic.  But, be careful.  By skipping around, you may miss a few key elements. 

It’s like the young high school boy who skipped his history class to play with his friends.  In class, the teacher announced, “and here’s a few questions that’ll be on the test tomorrow” OR WORSE YET, there was an empty seat next to an attractive girl. 

Incorporate Joy into Your Life

Joy surrounds us.  Sometimes obvious and sometimes hidden.  Top of the list is family. That’s probably why married people live 17 years longer than the unmarried counterparts.

Questions like:

  • should I marry,
  • do I marry someone like me or opposite me?
  • will I be a good parent?
  • how many children should I have?

are all addressed.

There is something that most people overlook. It’s work ethic. In the vast majority of cases, it is taught at home by the parents.

Here’s the hidden gem. There is observational scientific evidence that work ethic may be inherited.   People have assumed that things like musical ability is an inherited trait.  But it may not be the musical abilities that are passed down.  Rather, it may be the work ethic associated with the long hours of practice that is inherited.  

Other things that bring Joy include activities such as reading, hobbies, humor, appreciating nature’s beauty, meditation, and the list is long.

Did you know that dancing is the healthiest activity above all others? And there are scientific studies to back it up. 

 

There is a process for picking the best hobby, activity, or vacation for you.  

If you ever placed toothpicks in an avocado pit and stuck it in plastic cup with water, you may want to try your hand at gardening. 

Did you know that gardening helps reduce the fear of insects or catching diseases.  Perhaps, that’s why farmers rarely have these fears. 

JOY

Clicking on the Joy Cartoon will take you to a table of contents with links to all the specific topics.

The Fear & Joy Connection

What does Joy have to do with Fear?   If you have this question, a marvelous and wonderful surprise awaits you.   Studies have shown that the positive effect of Joy reduces the negative effects of Fear.  And it takes place automatically inside your brain. 

Here’s an illustration.  If you see a scary spider, then do this.  First make sure you are safe.  Then, bite into a chocolate bar, take a sip of your favorite soda, or do a little dance.  It’s hard to concern yourself with the spider when you’re trying to remember the steps to the Chicken Dance.  The purpose of the candy bar, the soda, or dance is to re-associate the Fear with a Joy. 

This is not new stuff.  Remember what your mother did after you were kicking and screaming from a vaccine shot.  Did it involve Skiddles™, ice cream, hugs and kisses, or some other reward?

This re-association might sound trite.  But it has a serious side, and it works.  In most brain injury rehabilitation cases, music is used.  Why?  Because of joy.  People with Alzheimer’s have been observed tapping their feet or fingers when their favorite song is played.  Why?  Because of Joy.  

Discover why a compliment is so powerful.  Then casually observe the effects of your compliment.  You’ll experience a delightful gift.  But the internal reward is hidden and far more valuable.

Studies have shown that the Joy to Fear ratio should be 3 or above.  That is, three or more Joys for each Fear.  Ratios below 2 means that some remedial action is needed.   The website has forms and examples for calculating your specific ratio.

This is an effective way to reduce stress in the middle of chaos. 

Joy contains the invisible keys to the Neuro-pathways in the brain where the fears hide.

Clicking on The Fear and Joy Connection Cartoon takes you to a table of contents on the topics covering this connection. 

Fear and Joy Connection

Notice the facial expressions on the two boys.  The boy at the rear is hanging on for dear life, while the boy in front has his hands in the air ready to go again.

The only difference between them is the perceived fear in one and the joy in the other.

Fear and Joy Blogging

The Blogging portion of the website offers a way for people to provide personal stories and to share ideas for the purpose of helping others.  Currently this section is under construction.