FEAR and JOY

The goal is simple.

To Teach You How To Reduce Fear Using Joy.

It works, and it’s FREE.

Home

Address your Fears

This site takes you through the process of identifying, understanding, and then reducing your Fears.  They include the social fears, such as intimacy, rejection, failures, etc.  All can be helped using this method. 

Here’s a sample.  Did you know that the fear of public speaking may be helped by taking multiple amusement park rides.   What!!   Here’s a hint. The adrenaline rush you get before stepping behind the microphone is normally associated with embarrassment and failure. The roller coaster ride re-associates that adrenaline rush with fun and safety.  How cool is that!

Did you know that your personality type plays a role?  Or that your distress is because you’re being manipulated.  

An A-type person’s fear may be more associated with looking weak or a B-type person may be crushed by the thought of losing a friend.  Diving into the twists and turns of the personality traits is productive, fun, and intriguing.

Hiding behind emotions is a more elusive factor. It’s manipulation.  Like the magician’s sleight of hand, it makes the manipulator’s actions vanish in plain sight.  

This site teaches you how to spot manipulation using back-door techniques, and provides some fun quizzes with real life situations.

There are tricks to understanding certain fears.  For example, when you hear doom and gloom on television, do the following: First, ignore the content for a moment, and look for key words. Words like:

  • everyone agrees,
  • science, or
  • it’s undisputed.

These words are classic fallacies.  Now go back and consider the content. This time look for evidence. Usually, there won’t be any. That’s because those key words are used to avoid showing proof. This is when you’ll know that the doom and gloom story is nothing more than the smoke and mirrors used at a carnival.

The last factor relates to treatment. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, i.e. repeated exposures to the fear triggers, is the go-to treatment. But this site shows some hidden techniques.

These hidden features are revealed along with real life illustrations. Click on the Fear Photo to start your journey.  

Fear

The photo is a link that will take you to a table of contents.  From there you can jump to any topic.  But, be careful.  By skipping around, you may miss a few key elements. 

It’s like the young high school boy who skipped his history class to play with his friends.  In class, the teacher announced, “and here’s a few questions that’ll be on the test tomorrow” OR WORSE YET, there was an empty seat next to an attractive girl. 

Incorporate Joy into Your Life

Joy surrounds us.  Sometimes obvious and sometimes hidden.  Top of the list is family. That’s probably why married people live 17 years longer than the unmarried counterparts.

Questions like:

  • should I marry,
  • do I marry someone like me or opposite me,
  • will I be a good parent,
  • how many children should I have,

are all addressed.

There is something that most people overlook. It’s work ethic. In the vast majority of cases, it is taught at home and by the parents.

Here’s the hidden gem. There is observational evidence that work ethic may be inherited.   People have assumed that things like musical ability is an inherited trait.  But, it may not be the musical abilities that are passed down.  Rather, it may be the work ethic associated with the long hours of practice that is inherited.  

Other things that bring Joy include activities such as music, reading, hobbies, humor, appreciating nature’s beauty, meditation, and the list is long.

Did you know that dancing is the healthiest activity above all others? And there are scientific studies to back it up. 

 

There is a process for picking the best hobby, activity, or vacation for you.  

If you ever placed toothpicks in an avocado pit and stuck it in plastic cup with water, you may want to try your hand at gardening. 

Did you know that gardening helps reduce the fear of insects or catching diseases.  Perhaps, that’s why farmers rarely have these fears. 

JOY

Clicking on the Joy Photo will take you to a table of contents with links to all of the specific topics.

The Fear & Joy Connection

What does Joy have to to with Fear?   If you have this question, a marvelous and wonderful surprise awaits you.   Studies have shown that the positive effects of Joy reduces the negative effects of Fear.  And it takes place automatically inside your brain. 

Here’s an illustration.  If you see a scary spider, then do this.  Bite into a chocolate bar, take a sip of your favorite soda, or do a little dance.  It’s pretty hard to concern yourself with the spider when you’re trying to remember the steps to the Chicken Dance. 

The above sentence might sound trite.  But, it has a serious side.  In most brain injury rehabilitation cases, music is used.  Why?  Because of joy.  People with Alzheimer’s have been observed tapping their feet or fingers when their favorite song is played.  Why?  Because of Joy. 

Discover why giving someone an unexpected compliment is so powerful.  Casually observe what it does to a stranger,  You’ll experience a delightful gift in return.

Studies have shown that the Joy to Fear ratio should be 3 or above.  That is, three or more Joys for each Fear.  Ratios below 2 means that some remedial action is needed.   The website has forms and examples for calculating your specific ratio.

This is an effective way to reduce stress in the middle of chaos. 

 

Joy contains the invisible keys to the Neuro-pathways in the brain where the fears hide.

Clicking on The Fear and Joy Connection Photo takes you to the Chapter on how and why it works. 

Fear and Joy Connection

Notice the facial expressions on the two boys.  The boy on your left is hanging on for dear life, while the boy on the right is getting ready to put his hands above his head. 

The only difference between them is the perceived fear in one and the joy in the other.

Fear and Joy Blogging

The Blogging portion of the website offers a way for people to provide personal stories and to share ideas for the purpose of helping others.  Currently this section is under construction.